If I were Elizabeth…
I found that the expert with the strongest argument was Wendi Lazar, who suggested that Elizabeth should give herself space and time to make decisions that aren’t solely driven by emotion, and to build the best opportunity for herself. I appreciated Lazar’s quote, “If the CEO and HR director don’t change what seems to be a very male-dominated environment in which inappropriate behavior from people in power goes unchecked, she should leave–for the right opportunity at a time of her choosing” (Bearden 2016). Additionally, given that Elizabeth’s relationship with Brad was short, it is likely that her triggered responses are predominantly from routinely seeing him and Claire, as opposed to mourning over an intimate loss. This makes the situation less personal and is less likely to need immediate action. Therefore, the choice to hold off on leaving the company until Elizabeth is able to want that decision for herself felt the most logical and empowering, while also giving Elizabeth the greatest return. This framework actively deconstructs harmful workplace systems by centering Elizabeth’s needs. Furthermore, it centers Elizabeth’s wholistic needs, and not just her emotional needs.
If I were a manager…
If I was a manager and found out about this situation, I would have made sure to have independent conversations with all parties involved. It would have been important to outline that though their relationship situations are private, prioritizing their roles in the workplace during their work hours is a commitment they had agreed to upon taking the job. To correct Elizabeth’s manager, I would also ensure that all language is neutral instead of misogynistic and assuming. This is crucial of any safe space we want to create. Additionally, I think it would also be worthwhile to reemphasize that as the manager, I want to support everyone on the team to the best of my ability. Though I do not think that it is necessarily reasonable to adjust roles/future plans solely based on Elizabeth’s emotions towards Brad and Claire’s relationship, I would still emphasize that I want Elizabeth to be working in a space where she feels comfortable and is able to best succeed. If she believes she can build an argument for structural changes that would be unrelated to the relationship, or does land a better opportunity in the future, I would always give her the space to do so and ensure she feels heard and well-recognized.
As for Brad, I would first approach the conversation emphasizing that I respect Brad’s personal decisions, especially as he is now engaged to Claire (which communicates more seriousness). However, I would address Brad’s position as CFO in relation to his romantic history with professional subordinates. I would communicate that he was chosen for his role for his responsibility, professionalism, and ability to make sound decisions for himself and his team and that I would hold this expectation of him for anything that impacts the company. I would discuss with him that though who he chooses to date is his fully in his control, he should reflect on how his decisions impact the work environment as well as his/the company’s image. However, at this stage, this conversation would be reactionary. It would have been ideal to have this conversation (potentially through HR) during the early stages of dating Claire if they had been very public about it.
