I would have to agree with Wendi S. Lazar’s recommendation for Elizabeth. Making career or any major life decision is difficult, especially when emotions are at play. In this case, I don’t think it’s clear how toxic the work culture at her current company is or exactly how unprofessional Brad was in his actions at work. I would say that the biggest issue with their failed romance was that Brad was immature and unclear with his commitment to their relationship. Brad can certainly be criticized for being insensitive and even immoral, but there’s little in the article to prove that the company condoned his behavior. I also don’t believe it’s clear that the workplace favored Brad because of his gender or position over Elizabeth, it’s simply that she was the one that walked out of that romance hurt so she was always going to feel that she got the short end of the stick.
Because there isn’t clear evidence that the company culture is toxic, I would also suggest that she stay where she is and make the best of the situation as she gets over the failed romance. Once there’s some distance between her and that period, she can more objectively evaluate the culture, how valued she is by the company, and whether she really wants to make a change.
If I were a manager and found out about a failed relationship between two employees that was affecting one or both of their emotions and possibly performance, I would approach them both to ask if that situation is affecting their work or comfort at work. I would first approach the employee of lower rank, since they may naturally feel at a disadvantage because of their position, and then the more senior employee. I would be careful not to ask about personal details, but instead focus on their ability to perform their work. By doing so, I can take note of practical steps to make sure both can still feel good about working at the company. For example, not assigning them to the same team or project if it isn’t necessary. I do believe that firmer language and concrete advice (work and etiquette related) can be used and given to the higher rank employee as they carry a greater burden of responsibility because of their position.
