Why speaking up is difficult
Speaking up to a boss is far more psychologically difficult than it seems, especially in cultures where deference to authority is the norm. I strongly relate to Susan Kim in the case study “Follow Dubious Orders or Speak Up?” by Sandra Sucher and Matthew Preble. Growing up in Korea and completing my first internship there, I experienced a workplace culture rooted in deep respect for superiors. The boss was almost always assumed to be right, and questioning them was extremely rare.
The risks
When you challenge your boss, you risk not only losing a return offer or even your job, but also damaging your relationship with your manager or peers—consequences that can linger even if you stay. Yet complying with an ethically dubious request carries longer-term risks. It can erode your moral guard, normalize behavior you don’t stand for, harm your reputation beyond the company, or even damage the company’s reputation if the action leads to legal or public fallout.
For me, the most significant danger is compromising the values that ground you. Once you start making exceptions, you can lose confidence in your own judgment or drift away from the person you intended to be. Ultimately, you might find yourself contributing to a workplace whose values no longer align with your own—which is a far greater cost than speaking up.
