A few years ago, right after finishing my master’s degree in Stockholm, I got an internship at a weather analytics startup. Our team was quite small, around 30 people, and everything seemed pretty normal … until it wasn’t. Our CTO, Jon, and one of the machine learning engineers, Oda, started a secret relationship after an offsite event in Åre. At first, none of us really cared. Jon wasn’t managing Oda directly, so it seemed harmless enough. But it didn’t take long for things to change!
They tried to keep it quiet at the office, but then they were all over social media—weekend trips, dinners out… it didn’t take long for people to start talking. It could’ve just been some office gossip, but then Jon started giving Oda all the cool projects and attention in meetings. Things blew up when Anna, a new intern, joined. Jon got totally fixated on her and everyone noticed. One morning, my coworker Erik even caught them kissing in the elevator!
At that stage, it was impossible to ignore. Oda was super embarrassed and even thought about quitting. The whole vibe at work went from professional to full-on gossip. Eventually, our team had enough, and we went to the founder. He made the tough call to let Jon go. Jon was a great CTO, but his behavior was wrecking the team.
This story reminds me of Elizabeth’s situation in J. Neil Bearden’s Harvard Business Review case study (An Office Romance Gone Wrong). Elizabeth, great salesperson, gets “involved” with Brad, the CFO, and just like in my experience, the personal relationship quickly spirals into professional chaos. After their breakup, Brad starts flaunting his new relationship with another colleague Claudia, leaving Elizabeth facing judgment and whispers from others in the company.
What’s worse is that the company’s leadership completely mishandles the situation. Elizabeth is quietly pulled aside and told to “keep it professional,” while Brad seems to get off without any consequences. It’s a familiar story. Just like Oda, Elizabeth is the one left to deal with the fallout while the man in power keeps moving on as if nothing happened.
I agree with Karen Firestone’s advice in the case study: Elizabeth should leave. When workplace dynamics get this messy, especially without strong leadership stepping in, it becomes toxic. Elizabeth is a talented, high-performing employee, but staying in a place where her personal life is under constant scrutiny and her professional reputation is suffering isn’t worth it. In my case, the founder acted before the situation got worse, but not every company is so lucky.
The real issue is that women often get the short end of the stick in these situations at work. Whether it’s favoritism or gossip, they’re the ones stuck choosing between their job and their self-respect. Just having rules about office relationships isn’t enough, companies need to make sure things stay professional, and leaders should step in when personal stuff starts messing with the team. Elizabeth deserved better, and so did Oda.
