The expert analyzing Elizabeth’s situation at her current company makes several valid points and offers great advice…up to a point. I agree with Ms. Firestone that Elizabeth should immediately pursue other work opportunities: Elizabeth’s behavior, especially asking Brad to tone down his PDA with Claudia, exhibits that she is still processing the hurt she experienced from Brad’s actions, and company personnel seem to think less of Elizabeth after the relationship ended. If Elizabeth were less invested in her relationship with Brad and was not truly bothered by Brad and Claudia, I would advise her to stay given her love for the job and the compensation package. I disagree with Ms. Firestone’s characterization of Elizabeth as someone “unable to control her reactions and put the episode behind her,” because in the article, she shows no major behavioral changes like angry outbursts or disrespectful communication to coworkers or superiors; her work performance seems stable, and I find it cruel to critique someone for not being able to control emotional responses given it takes time to process hurt: it cannot necessarily be compartmentalized like a machine. Moreover, I disagree with Firestone’s assertion that Elizabeth’s mistake was that she was too invested in someone who did not exhibit similar levels of investment; at the root of the issue, as Elizabeth concedes, her and Brad lacked proper communication on important topics like exclusivity and safeguards for if they broke up (i.e. what would Brad and Elizabeth do to proactively protect their respective selves?).
If I were a manager and found out about this situation, assuming I’m Elizabeth’s superior, I would do all I could to keep her at my company. As the article describes, Elizabeth is a stellar employee and given we are working at a startup, we cannot necessarily afford to lose her. Thus, my first action would be to sit Elizabeth down and have her describe how she would like to proceed, have her outline new boundaries she’s developed post-breakup i.e. not training her ex’s new fiancée, and see if we can come to a compromise. Secondly, I would report to my superiors or HR department with feedback on what I believe the company culture could change (while anonymizing Elizabeth’s comments to me) and what it would cost us not to do so (i.e. losing star employees like Elizabeth).
