The Experience
Behavior To Change
The behavior I wanted to change was procrastination. In particular, I wanted to stop avoiding small tasks that 1) I need / it would be better for me to do, and 2) that I have time to do. I have found that I’ll complete my significant responsibilities, like work and assignments. However, when it comes to smaller tasks like responding to friends texts, sending basic emails (e.g. meeting notes for work), booking a doctor’s appointment, etc. I tend to unnecessarily put them off.
I could never seem to know why, and would just feel frustrated in what I thought was a pointless and irresponsible procrastination, until I dug apart my inhibitions and feelings through this assignment. Recording the instances in which I put off such small to-dos helped me pause and shed light on the circumstance behind each one, forcing me to reflect and recognize the reasoning behind each. I recorded my behavior over the course of two days (Jan 15th and 16th) that I would have more work. Although I set out to record my behavior every two hours, I ended up doing so every time I caught myself putting something off thanks to the immediate guilt I feel.
Logging (I decided to log the activity I intended to do, what I did instead, and the rationale of why I likely did it)
1/15/24
09:10
- Alarm went off on my phone to apply for my Australia visa
- Scrolled on Insta instead
- Because I don’t want to get up and find my passports
9:35
- Set up slack on phone
- Texted with mom instead
- Slack is constantly glitching on my phone and I couldn’t be bothered to deal with it at the time
12:17
- Saw that I need to respond to an email scheduling a call
- Went to Apple Store to pick up my computer and Verve
- Didn’t want to look into my calendar to see when I would be free and respond, even though it would probably take me a minute to do so. I feel like if I don’t spend focused time looking at when I’d be free, I may mess up and not remember and offer an incorrect time
14:00
- Booked a restaurant for my birthday dinner but didn’t send out texts inviting people
- Working on Econ pset instead
- Thought that I need to be done with everything for school and work before doing something for “pleasure” like sending out the invitation texts, so decided I will do it at night in bed.
14:20
- Alarm went off on my phone to apply for my Australia visa
- Didn’t get up from behind my computer where I am going through emails
- I am generally working on my Econ pset at this time and told myself I cannot do the visa app until I finish
18:15
- I decided I needed to write a prep note for my meeting tomorrow
- Cooked dinner instead
- Even though it would take me a few minutes only, I feel like I need to dedicate a lot of time to it to make it perfect before sending it out to my boss
20:51
- Saw friend’s text, didn’t respond
- Scrolled through other WhatsApp messages instead and responded to my mom and my boyfriend
- Didn’t know whether I would be available at the time she was asking to get lunch
22:45
- Remembered I need to apply for a visa
- Got into the shower
- Decided I will apply for the visa after I shower and am getting into bed
23:20
- Didn’t write prep note, apply for visa, or invite friends to my birthday dinner
- Called with parents
- Was too tired once in bed and remembered the visa app glitched last time I tried, and felt the prep note was too much work so I decided to do the next day. Since I am not finished with my more important tasks, I also felt I can’t move on to inviting friends to my birthday.
1/16/24
07:55
- Alarm went off to wake up and apply for Australia visa
- Snoozed and went to bed
- I was too tired
08:03
- Alarm went off to wake up and apply for Australia visa
- Snoozed and went to bed
- I was too tired
08:11
- Alarm went off to wake up and apply for Australia visa
- Snoozed and went to bed
- I was too tired
08:20
- Alarm went off to wake up and apply for Australia visa
- Snoozed and went to bed
- I was too tired
09:11
- Remembered I need to prep for interview later
- Walked to class without reading over prep
- I love listening to music on my walk to class and felt I needed that to boost my mood instead of prepping on my walk there
12:37
- Need to complete prep note for 4pm meeting
- Made lunch and chatted with roommates
- Convinced myself I’d have time after my next class
18:03
- Remembered I still need to send out invite to my birthday
- Cooked dinner and called with mom
- Didn’t want to send until after I was done with my work, and convinced myself I still have time
21:07
- Needed to book driving lessons
- Sat around and scrolled on camera roll
- Am meeting with team for a call in 20, assume I don’t have time to get that done. Just am thinking about the meeting
*It is important to note that I may have overlooked several instances of this habit.
Models
The circular model has solely positive connections, with each connection increasing the other and vice versa. Coming up with the nodes was an interesting activity, especially as some of them required introspective division of thoughts and mental processes that ultimately led to the procrastination of an activity. It includes actions, thought-processes, and feelings, and shows a strong reinforcing loop – as I procrastinate small activities, due to various reasons such as perfectionism, fatigue, or lots to do, my to-do list increases, further increasing my distraction, feelings over fatigue, stress, and overwhelmed-ness, triggering perfectionism, and so on.
I chose to do the chart on behavior over time, because I find a very interesting trend in my internal dialogue and demonstration of this behavior. As the reinforcing loop in the connected circle model would suggest, my procrastination initially increases exponentially over time as the to-do list gets longer and longer. However, then I often reach a level at which I feel a spike of productivity to finish everything in the list, and will spend a substantial amount of time to quickly get it all done. However, I cannot maintain this level of productivity in a balanced way over time, and so I start procrastinating all over again, until the next spike hits.
Learning and Insights
I found the exercise to require a lot of self criticism and disciple, which made me really enjoy it as I’ve always wanted to get to the root cause of this bad habit. For instance, I recognized that I often put off these smaller tasks that have no deadline due to writing extensive laundry lists of things I need to do, either physically or mentally, and maintaining a perfectionist approach in my completion of each one. I also realized that one way I try to “stay focused” is through prioritizing tasks by importance and not allowing myself to move on to less important tasks until I finish the other, but in an unproductive way. I also realized that I often replaced my to-do with another “productive” task that let me avoid it while reducing guilt, such as cooking my dinner.
If I could do this again, I would enforce shorter increments to log the activities. Although, I ended up writing it most times when I actively caught myself avoiding an activity, there were times at which I had to recall, which was more difficult two hours later.
